Alright everyone, I have a confession to make. I am extremely directionally challenged. No…really…I mean it. If I’m driving, you can spin me around in a circle, put me back on the exact same path, and I will find a way to get lost somehow. Due to this little problem of mine, I have learned to trust heavily on plans and control. Clearly I was born in a great generation for this, with Siri to guide my every move.
Another confession: I used to be a HUGE control freak. Major. Big. About everything. I lived in fear and didn’t trust in anything I couldn’t make happen myself. This flaw is isolating and causes you to miss out on a lot in life. Over the past couple of years, unexpected circumstances have forced me to stop being so type-A…to learn to loosen my grip on the steering wheel a bit.
Earlier today, I was following one of my favorite people to the beach. If I’m being completely honest with you, I wouldn’t have been able to get their on my own without a GPS. If I had lost eye-shot of the sweet truck in front of me, I would have been thoroughly lost. This expanded something deep in my soul and brought a smile to my face as I was driving. It was a sweet release, a relieving joy, to realize that I didn’t have to do all of the thinking. I didn’t need to worry and control. I could fully trust that this person I love dearly was leading me to the healing waters where I needed to rest. It wasn’t necessary for my mind to know every step of the way for me to end up in the right place.
Donald Miller quotes,
“I need for there to be something bigger than me. I need someone to put awe inside me; I need to come second to someone who has everything figured out.”
This is my gratitude for God. For humans. For this life that is so much greater than my fears, and so far out of my control. The road ahead of me is not one that I fully understand. I am learning to trust this journey, and it is exceedingly more beautiful through the eyes of trust and wonder. Often times when I don’t know where I am going, it is leading me to the perfect place. Where I belong. Healing. Peace. Home.