5 Tips For Having the Tough Conversations with Friends.

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“If you love learning, you love the discipline that goes with it—
how shortsighted to refuse correction!”

-Proverbs 12:

In our generation, we often go with a “whatever works for you”…”do what you feel like doing”…”whatever you feel is best” kind of mentality. In the midst of becoming very reliant on our ever changing feelings, I sometimes wonder if we have become too sensitive to receive truth.

Let me preface this by saying I do not believe in putting each other down. I believe in building each other up, encouraging one another, and loving those around us, and that includes our words. However, if you truly love someone, would you let them make a horrible, destructive decision that could ultimately hurt them?

Often times, we are afraid to speak truth because:
-We don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
-We don’t know how they will react and respond.
-We don’t want to lose this person as a friend.

While the concerns above are completely valid and should be taken into consideration, God has equipped us to share truth and love one another. Loving the people in our lives sometimes means having the difficult conversations that others might not be willing to have.

The times in my life that I have grown the most have been when I was challenged the most. There have been a few times when someone close to me had to say things about my behavior and actions that were hard for me to hear and accept, but it ultimately pushed me to become a better woman.

Do you have a friend who is making destructive choices? Living an unhealthy lifestyle that could negatively impact their future? Today, I am going to share a few tips that have helped me when it comes to having a difficult conversation with a loved one.

1. Pray about it first.
Always pray and seek God’s wisdom prior to having a tough conversation.

2. Is it in scripture?
I don’t often offer my own personal opinions to friends and family when it comes to their behavior or lifestyle. Why? Because that would be subjective truth. We want to use objective truth, which is best found in God’s word.

3. Talk to a mentor.
It always helps to get the wisdom and insight of a mentor prior to having these kinds of conversations. Find someone you trust, and get their input.

4. Check your own heart.
What are your motives? Are they pure?
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” -Matthew 7:3
When you bring up something about someone else, if it is not coming from a place of deep love and great concern, it should not be mentioned. The point of this conversation is not to condemn, judge, hurt, or put down.

5. Remain positive.
It can be overwhelming and difficult to hear that someone you love is worried about you and your behavior. Keep it constructive and kind. Remember to also point out the things about this person that you love, the things they are doing right, and how you can’t wait to see them flourish. It should not be a defeating and hopeless conversation.

It’s never easy to have these conversations with the people we love, but it is necessary. Iron sharpens iron. It is important to be open to discussion and ready to learn, grow, and be challenged. Make sure that you are also someone who is easy to approach, talk to, and receive constructive criticism.

Leave a comment below and give me your feedback about if these tips were helpful to you! Good luck!

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. kelly says:

    thank you for this timely post. I will DEFINITELY keep in mind your tips…still not sure how/when to approach my daughter…..but thank you for the tips.

  2. jncs77 says:

    I love your tips! Thank you sweet lady! I pray your adjustments to married life are going well. I am looking forward to the new movie coming out. Blessings, Charise

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