“So, I’m sorry, maybe I’m just not understanding. Do you want to be an actress, a singer, or a writer? If you had to pick. Because I don’t understand you.”
The question above was actually asked to me by a talent agency I met with a couple years ago. It seems they couldn’t quite understand my passion and zest for life. You see, in my head it all makes sense. In my head it is a way for me to use all of my creative outlets, my passions, to glorify God and be a role model. To bring positive messages to a culture in need.
Oh, and just a side note, there’s nothing I despise more than “If you had to pick.” What an odd statement. Why would I have to pick? In my lifetime of pursuing dreams God has placed on my heart, there has and always will be a time and a season for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3:1).
When the film and television season is slow, I write more. I sing daily. I write even when I’m on set. My mind is always thinking and dreaming, and I’ve never had to decide between things that are really all one thing: creating messages. Story telling. What I love.
A couple weeks ago, a girl on set asked me an honest question after congratulating me on my engagement. She wondered if my marriage would stop me from pursuing my dreams. Now, thankfully, I am marrying a man who loves my mind, heart, and soul. He wants me to thrive. He wants me to dream. He likes that I think.
It seems that we live in a world that so desperately wants to put us in a safe box, a box that isn’t too colorful or loud. A world that strives so much to define us with one word, with a college major, with a title. But the entirety of one excellent living human being will never be summed up in a job description.
We cannot stop what God has written on our hearts, what is engrained in us to do, and who we must be. I’ve always been the same girl. Since I was a toddler, I was introverted and would spend hours in my room alone, playing with dolls and story telling. Dreaming. Thinking. I grew up writing poems and song lyrics in algebra class. I would hum songs all day long.
The world tried to make me feel odd, confusing, complicated, and misunderstood. But I have realized that God made this girl...He made these dreams…and He not only understands them but has such a deep level of understanding that He sees all that we are capable of. He sees the fruit on trees that we see bare.
Beth Moore so eloquently says in her book “Believing God”:
“God has far more in mind than bringing forth one kind of fruit from your life. The harvest of God desires variety. You and I weren’t called to become machines of mass-but-monotonous production. Just when we decide our life is all about figs, God starts mixing up the soil underneath our feet and bringing forth some pomegranates. Have you too quickly decided that what you have done is all you’ll ever do? Ah, God’s far too creative for that. May God use our present journey to shake up some soil.”
Don’t be afraid to dream a bigger dream. Don’t be afraid to dream many dreams. Be colorful. Be creative. Be you.