My Metanoia

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There once was a young girl…

She used to be quite shy, and took in life simply by observation. Watching, listening, learning. Her introverted heart was even introverted toward God. While she was so sensitive, no one believed that to be true or worried too much about that. Why? Because she was afraid to show her emotions. She didn’t believe that it would benefit her to have a softened heart.

You see, the world this little girl lived in was a beautiful blur. Within the first few years of this blur filled with observations, she watched as her father no longer lived at home, people she loved deeply had passed away, family members cried, some of them grew cold and bitter, and friends were few. These years were also filled with much beauty, joy, and love, but these painful blurs consumed her at times.

Many years created a sum of observations that cultivated the heart of this girl, who was now a young woman. Her heart grew cold and bitter, just like many of the people she knew. She stopped believing in fairytales, stopped believing in true love, and no longer felt that she had much value.

These overwhelming feelings left her falling onto her knees in the middle of her tiny, studio apartment kitchen floor one night. As the tears rolled down her face, she cried out to God and truly wondered if He was even listening. You see, she didn’t doubt His existence, but she doubted her own worth so much that she believed God might just overlook her cries.

That girl was me…just a couple of years ago. Now, I am set free. Redeemed. Made new.
I have close girlfriends for the first time…
I’m engaged to the most amazing man on the planet…
I’m writing books…
I’m leading small groups…
I’m not only close to God, but talking to my family about Him…
How…you ask?

Metanoia. 

The origin is Greek, from metanoiein: to change one’s mind, repent from. Metanoia is to have a change of heart, and that is exactly what happened in my life. It was as if God did open heart surgery on me…from the inside out. My once bitter, cold, angry, stressed, anxious, worried heart is now a place where the Holy Spirit lives. 

I know how it feels to think that we are “too broken” or “too far gone.” But I assure you-that is not how God works. His grace is so powerful and His love is so life-changing that He can mend the most fragile parts of you that might be hanging on by a thread. 

You are not your past.
You are not your flaws.
You are not your sins.
You are not a mistake.
You are not an eating disorder.
You are not an addiction.
You are free.

It is never too late for a change of heart. What’s your metanoia?

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One thought on “My Metanoia

  1. Beautiful!!! Amen to that! If you can find it online, I think you would really appreciate the song “Free to Worship” by Prestonwood choir. (I know you can find them on Spotify – it is from the album “Threshold of Glory”. There are several great songs on this album- “This Blood” is another powerful one).

    Blessings, Tiffany Sent from my iPhone

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