Return to the King to become a princess.

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I was at a park today with the 8 year old girl I nanny. I was watching as all these little girls ran, smiled, laughed and played. Their eyes were full of delight, filled with innocence and wonder. They were carefree and fearless.
I remember being that age and feeling like a princess. I felt unstoppable. But as I watched these young girls smile, my heart began to break. You see, I started thinking about all of the girls my age that I know. Most young women are hurt, broken, lost, and full of scars already. Looking at those little girls, something in my soul ached. I was hurting just thinking that within a few short years, they might not feel like princesses anymore. Some of them wouldn’t feel secure, innocent, fearless or beautiful any longer. This got me thinking…
Where does it all go wrong?

All of our stories are unique in how we lose that valuable, princess mentality. However, it all reaches a point for us where we look in the mirror and see a very different woman than we had imagined.

Growing up, I was a princess. I had tea parties. I collected fancy perfume bottles. My papa called me little lady. I’d wear my plastic barbie high heels and put dozens of shiny clips in my hair. I was a girl who admired class from a very young age. I loved pearls, lace, women like my Mimi, Audrey Hepburn, and Princess Diana. I always dreamed of being a women of strength, beauty and class.

So how did that same little girl end up sprawled out on the floor of an LA apartment sobbing? I lost myself. I looked in the mirror one day and cried until I became physically sick because I didn’t recognize the girl staring back at me.
The girl looking at me in the mirror was weak. She was insecure. She would dwell on hurt. That girl believed that her biological father chose not to be in her life because she wasn’t good enough. That girl was faithless. She was the girl who stressed over finding a low cut shirt that would show just enough cleavage to maybe get someone to notice her or think she was beautiful. This girl wondered that if her bra size was different, if she was curvier, or if she were sexier that maybe someone would love her. That girl never considered that it was her heart and soul that needed a change. She would look at herself in the mirror telling herself she’d never be enough. That girl didn’t know how to define who she was. While everyone thought she was strong, that girl was lost. That was the girl who would date guys that everyone said were wrong for her. But what they didn’t understand was that her choices were based on what she thought she deserved. This girl felt worthless. This girl had no value of herself, and didn’t believe that anyone else ever would.
And that girl was me.

I remember the day I looked at myself and said enough is enough. I didn’t recognize that girl. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t who I wanted to be. I cried out to God and just told him I didn’t know what happened. I didn’t know how I had lost myself that much. And because of God’s love and because of who HE says I am, I regained my worth. I started seeing myself as a princess again. I started viewing myself as a woman of strength and dignity. My God says we are wonderfully made. Because I realized that if the God who created everything could love and accept me, I should do the same for myself. I also knew that if He could love me, with all of His perfection, I could also deserve the love of a good man someday…my very own prince charming.

Because of God’s love and redemption, I’m a princess again. I’m strong, secure, innocent, loved, and beautiful not because of myself, but because of Him. I can now look at myself in the mirror and see strength and dignity, instead of the long list of labels I used to have written all over me.

In 21 years, I went from…
Knowing myself…
Losing myself…
Hating myself…
Finding God…
Loving God…
Finding myself…
And finally, loving myself.

When you look in the mirror today, what do you see? If you don’t like what you see (or if you’re the way I was and don’t even recognize what you see), it’s time for you to talk to God. It’s time for you to be a princess again. No amount of attention from guys made me feel more like a princess (in fact, it did quite the opposite). No matter how great my family told me I was, I didn’t feel it or believe it. It wasn’t until I allowed God to love me that I could truly love myself. You are a princess. You are so valuable.

The reason I write is for all the princesses out there. The little girls at the park…the girls who have tea parties…the girls who believe in prince charming & happy ever after…the girls who admire pearls and perfume…I write for them. I write because none of us should ever lose those things. But if we do…

We have to return to the King to become princesses again.

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